Love Yourself First

Loving yourself is not stuck up or conceited. Love yourself. If you can’t love yourself how is anyone supposed to love you and you be able to receive it? I can tell you that all the people in the world can tell you how great you are or how beautiful you are, but until we believe that ourselves, we aren’t going to hear it and believe it. I’m still recovering on this one and some days I’ve had to put more effort into it than others. By that, I mean I’ve had to put more attention on my positive attributes than what I felt was negative.

From a young age, I’ve struggled with seeing all the wonderful and amazing things about myself. Any time I received a compliment, I deflected it feeling like I was never good enough. Like many girls/women I saw my flaws more than I saw all the things that were great about myself. I focused on the wrong things. All the things I couldn’t do or didn’t have. There are still days I struggle to feel good about myself. I’ve gained more weight over the years from my 20’s, I don’t have time for make up to hide things and honestly I just don’t want to most days, I don’t plan birthday parties as well as my friend, I’m not as strong of a leader as others, and the list goes on and on. Not only is it difficult for me to love myself with all the negative self talk, I couldn't allow in other people's love. I discounted it, and I couldn't believe it because I couldn't believe anyone would love someone like me. For years once it started, it was hard to stop. I have more power in this area, and recognize what I do well every day. The truth is, I probably don’t do everything as well as others. But there are a great number of things that I do well. I’ve learned that each person is capable of so much, but where we can admire and aim to be like someone else and make goals to adopt that trait, we can’t get stuck in a phase where we think we are less than another person because we aren’t what we desire to be. This is just a lie. We can still love ourselves but be working towards goals. We need to love ourselves through all phases of life. Don’t work towards something because you feel you should do something because it’s what you “should” do. Work towards it because you want to make yourself better not because you “should”. Once I finally loved me, I could receive love from others around me genuinely. Knowing it wasn't a fluke and that I had value.

I looked at a picture of myself from taking a bunch of pictures not too long ago, many of which turned out beautiful. I woke up the next morning feeling bad about myself. Even cried a little, which is not typical for me. My husband said, after I showed him the specific picture that had upset me, that it wasn't as flattering of an angle as other pictures, BUT you had so many beautiful pictures, you can’t let one that didn’t have a great angle as all the others ruin it. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My main worry was maybe people won’t like me or think I don’t belong because I still have some extra weight on my stomach and my arms are thicker (to me). Truth is, I’m making progress, and I’m proud of the changes I’ve made to my life. If someone doesn’t like it, #sorrynotsorry! I’m not perfect, nor will I ever be. I’m me, and I’m a work in progress. I have made some serious changes to not be who I let others shape me to be. I let other people and their perceptions shape me. I became so unhappy with who I became and shocked at how far I got from myself and my truths. I honestly had no clue who I was anymore. I just knew I had realized it one day as I felt my world falling apart and not realizing right away how I got there, and I knew at that time I needed to stop and find myself again. I still have my days where I’m a people pleaser, but I know I’m learning. Every day I get stronger and grow. That’s what matters and that’s why I’m choosing to love me even as I am right now.

Make sure you love yourself today and every day. Face the parts you could do better, but embrace where you are today. Make goals if you feel you need to move in a better direction, but don’t degrade yourself or not love yourself! Love yourself today and every day. You are wonderful and AMAZING!!!! STOP the negative self talk, it’s not helping you shape yourself. Keep your self dialogue positive. Sparkle up Buttercup!